I waited all day to speak to Alex, all day.  Waiting for his phone call has been the only thing that has kept me going all day.  I simply wasn’t ready for school today, and he was the only thing that I had to look forward to.  And then Mum had to have her input on the evening.

The first thing she said to me when I got in the car today: “You need to use deoderant”.  Well thanks for that Mum, I’ve only been at school all day.  It’s not like I’m going to spend all say walking around school, sitting in lessons, working and then come home smelling like roses is it?  It’s so frustrating that she has nothing positive to say.  And that was just the beginning of my “wonderful” evening.

Alex phoned me tonight, but Mum cut that short.  About 10 minutes in to the conversation she called my name.  “Jill’s trying to phone” was her words, no indication on what she wanted, but reading between the lines is a skill I have been forced to develop.  “Ok, give me five minutes to say goodbye,”  was all I asked.  One minute later, she was shouting up the stairs again, a minute after that again.  I cut the conversation with Alex short and walked downstairs, throwing the phone onto the seat next to her I stormed off into the kitchen.

Luckily Alex was able to phone back later, but that isn’t the point.  Mum doesn’t care about anyone but herself and I find that so unbelievable to comprehend.  I just don’t know how she expects me to live a rich and full life if all she does is think about herself and acts negatively all the time.  GRR.

Still, it was amazing to hear Alex’s voice and I really wish I was there to comfort him while he is feeling unwell.  I wish I could wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly, just to make sure he’s ok.  GOD!  I need him right now.  I really realy need him.  It’s awful that he’s not here.

Thanks for reading